Studies have shown that women’s quality of life is significantly better when single. There is a direct correlation with that study; single women look better. I’ve seen it among friends and within myself. Once women get into relationships, it is easy to begin prioritizing your partner over yourself, and this is a huge mistake! It starts with small things like, “Oh, I’ll skip gua sha tonight since bae is spending the night,” and before you know it, you’re skipping the gym for a dinner date or not answering your friend’s calls because you are chilling with your boo.
- You have a non-negotiable schedule or routine
- You are more active
- You aren’t giving all of yourself away
- Free time is dedicated to whatever you want to do, including spending time with the community you have created
You have a non-negotiable schedule
When single, you often create a daily routine that includes morning and evening routines that set you up for success. These routines may consist of praying or meditating, nightly mini facials, reading a book, or some other activity that brings you joy or physical well-being.
Studies have shown that having a routine increases efficiency and reduces stress! Botox is available if we need it, but if there are natural ways to reduce fine lines from frowning, why not use them?
You are More Active
Additionally, consistently working out as part of your schedule reduces stress and aids in maintaining a youthful look. I have also found that I can go on spontaneous walks, bike rides, etc, when I have no commitments. We all know staying active can become challenging as we age and have sedentary jobs. Sometimes you can’t go workout at 6am, but when you are focused on you, it is easier to find alternative times to go workout. Like, no one will question you if you decided to get 40 minutes of cardio in at Planet Fitness at 11 PM. Get that work in, sis.
You Nurture Yourself
Setting up time to go visit the spa, booking that therapy session, getting involved in church, or hanging out with your girlfriends at their house are all important for physical and mental wellness.
Women often pour so much into everyone else, their husbands, their children, their jobs, etc., and can easily forget how important it is to nurture yourself. If you have nothing within, you can properly help your village. Getting into the habit of nurturing yourself allows you to recover from the traumas of life and show up as the best version of yourself. One callout I want to stress is that self care isn’t just going to a spa or on a shopping spree. Above, I mentioned booking a session with your therapist as one way to nurture yourself. Self-care isn’t always fun, but it is always worth it! So when you think about pouring back into yourself, please consider going to yoga, church, visiting your therapist, praying, or journaling as ways to express yourself and heal.
What can we summarize?
The tea is that it’s important to build up your own schedule and life habits that contribute to your well-being before adding additional responsibilities (men) into your life. I sure we have all met women who never developed habits of nurturing self because they got into relationships young and they often self-correct later in life and sometimes never fully learn how to pour into themselves.
I often think about my mother who has been married for almost 50 years but struggles to venture out and pour into herself. My dad knows exactly what he needs to rejuvenate and often practices those rituals daily (Fishing, Gardening, sitting on the porch listening to music and smoking a cigarette). Meanwhile, my mom waits around to do activities that would benefit her because she is waiting for my dad to do them with her. I often wonder what her adult life would look like if she had the time to learn to pour into herself thoroughly before getting married. I belive if she had, that confidence and built in habit of routine would have carried over. Another thing, my mom looks damn good for her age but looks arent just external, they are internal as well.
“If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.”
Lemony Snicket
Lastly, while studies have shown that single women statistically are more attractive, I do believe, you can still do this while being married. Start to make those changes gradually and put yourself first unapologetically! Everything takes practice, so be kind to yourself. To the women who are childless and single, enjoy the routine and journey of self-love. It’s a practice that you will never regret. Once you do find a partner, it will be easier to get back on track if you find yourself slipping due to enjoying the bliss of new love, and your partner will respect you for the confidence and boundaries that you have due to self-love!
