My layoff wasn’t a glow-up montage. But it wasn’t a tragedy either.
Unless you have a loaded bank account or the kind of connections that come with generational wealth, getting laid off is going to hit hard. It’s not just the stress of figuring out how you’re going to pay your bills or calculating how long your savings will last. It’s the isolation, too. Some people don’t have the emotional capacity to support you through your highs and lows. Others simply don’t care. They’re just relieved it wasn’t them. Thankfully, I have a network of people who have experienced corporate layoffs and understand the emotional roller coaster that comes with losing your job.
During my first month, I was in shock.
I constantly calculated my budget, reviewed my severance package, and tried to determine how long I could stretch my savings if I cut expenses and temporarily abandoned a few nonessential responsibilities. The problem? You have absolutely no idea how long you’ll need that financial runway. Three months? Six months? An entire year? And this job market isn’t exactly helping. With Black women experiencing significant job losses and an increasingly competitive corporate job market, finding a new opportunity can feel like an uphill battle.
I met an old colleague for coffee who had also been impacted by a layoff but had recently landed a new role. His advice?
“This is a who-you-know market.”
Yikes.
The First Two Weeks: Girl, GET UP!
I rolled over in bed, eyes still closed, moving my hand across the mattress in search of my ringing phone.
What time was it anyway?
I finally found it and answered in my raspy, half-asleep voice.
“Hello?”
“Good afternoon! How are ya?” my best friend’s voice blared through the speaker.
“What time is it?” I retorted.
“GIRL! GET UP! IT’S 1 P.M.! DA FUCK?!” He yelled through the receiver.
It had been two weeks since I was laid off, and I had absolutely no energy to do anything.
Outside of signing my severance agreement so the money could be released, calculating my budget every day as if some new revelation would magically appear, and taking a shower, I wasn’t doing much. I wasn’t crashing out. I wasn’t throwing things, crying uncontrollably, or making a big fuss. It felt like the wind had come through and sucked every ounce of energy out of my body.
I didn’t feel dead, but I didn’t exactly feel alive either. The truth is, work had been extremely stressful leading up to the layoff. So stressful that I could barely remember my winter holiday. I work in tech, and my team had spent what is normally a holiday code freeze launching new features and building products. Imagine waking up the day after Christmas knowing you’re launching a new product the following morning.
There hadn’t been much to celebrate beyond the fact that I still had a job. Rumors of layoffs had been circulating for months. Leadership had communicated that reductions would happen before the end of the year. So when January came and went without layoffs, I thought maybe I was in the clear.
I was not.
My entire team was laid off the day after the Super Bowl.
Although this wasn’t my first layoff, it had been seven years since my last one. And this time, I decided to do something that felt unfamiliar. I listened to my body. My friend Julian was one of the people who understood what I was going through. We talked almost daily anyway, so his phone calls weren’t unusual. But I was especially thankful to have someone who could give me a friendly “GET UP, GIRL!” when I was at my numbest.
So, Where’s My Layoff Glow-Up?
As the months passed, I slowly regained my energy between job rejections, everyday responsibilities, and rediscovering my creativity. If you’ve spent any time on social media, you’ve probably seen the triumphant layoff stories. Someone loses their corporate job and suddenly transforms their entire life. They lose 50 pounds because they finally have time to focus on fitness. They turn a passion project into a six-figure business that outearns their corporate salary. They travel the world, discover their purpose, and announce that getting laid off was the best thing that ever happened to them. Love that for them. Seriously. But that wasn’t my story.
I didn’t lose 50 pounds. I didn’t build a $100K business overnight. And I certainly didn’t wake up every morning feeling grateful that I no longer had a paycheck. In a capitalist society, it’s pretty difficult for me to romanticize not having an income. But I also won’t pretend that unemployment has been the end of my world.
Because it hasn’t.
Between the “GET UP, GIRL!” wake-up calls, job interviews, and bursts of creative energy that I poured into Posh Auntie, I lived a pretty average, unsexy life.
And you know what?
That’s okay.
Here’s what my layoff actually looked like.
1. I Was Inconsistent With My Workouts
The first piece of advice everyone gives you after a layoff is to get moving. “Use this time to transform your body!” Ma’am. I didn’t feel like working out every day when I had a job, and suddenly becoming unemployed didn’t change that. Don’t get me wrong. I have workouts that I genuinely love, especially spin classes. Whenever I found myself in a funk and realized I hadn’t been to class in a few weeks, I’d pull myself together and sign up. And every single time, it helped. The music, the sweat, the release. I’d leave feeling like myself again. But was I doing it every day? Absolutely not.
Some days I was busy preparing for interviews. Other days I had errands, household responsibilities, or simply didn’t feel like driving across town to sit on a stationary bike. And I refused to stress myself out about it. I already had enough stress. If you have the energy and desire to use your layoff to transform your body, by all means, do your thing!
But for me, adding another responsibility to my life wasn’t what I needed. What I actually needed was time to decompress from the stress my previous job had put me through. And if that meant going to spin class once a week instead of five times, so be it.
2. I Slept. A LOT.
As you’ve probably gathered by now, your girl was BURNT OUT.
So I leaned into rest.
I still took care of myself and handled my responsibilities, but I didn’t feel guilty about taking naps or waking up at 1 p.m. on days when I had absolutely nothing planned. After a few months, I naturally settled into a more regular sleep schedule. But during those early weeks, when I was still processing the shock of losing my job and recovering from career burnout, I gave myself permission to sleep. I also ignored the popular advice to “wake up early and start your day.” Why? Because I’ve never been a morning person.
I wasn’t about to become a 5 a.m. girlie just because I got laid off. On days when I needed to be productive, I allowed myself slow mornings. I’d wake up, make coffee and avocado toast, and settle in at my computer around 10:30 a.m. No dramatic morning routine. No sunrise journaling session followed by a five-mile run. Just me, my coffee, and whatever needed to get done that day.
And it worked for me.
3. I Did Yard Work
One of the first things I did to reduce expenses was cut back on how often I paid someone to maintain my yard.
As a homeowner who rents out her basement on Airbnb, letting the grass grow wild wasn’t exactly an option. My yard still needed to look presentable. So instead of having my regular lawn guy come twice a month, I reduced his visits to once a month and picked up the slack myself. Cutting grass, trimming bushes, pulling weeds, maintaining the flower beds. You name it.
Now, yard work is a great workout. But doing it in the Southern heat? WHEW. At one point, I overworked a muscle in my forearm so badly that I could barely move my arm for almost a week. All that to save a little money on landscaping. Was it glamorous? Absolutely not. But it needed to be done, and I was perfectly capable of doing it myself.
So I did.
4. I Took Road Trips to Visit Family Instead of Booking Flights
Let me start by saying that I hate driving. I’m the type of person who starts getting sleepy after about an hour and a half behind the wheel. If I can catch a flight instead of driving, I’m catching the flight. But when you’re unemployed and operating on a frozen budget, those flights, hotels, and rental cars start looking a little less appealing.
So I changed how I traveled.
Instead of planning expensive vacations, I started driving to visit family members I didn’t normally have the time to see. I’ve also become increasingly interested in researching my family history, so spending time with elders and strengthening relationships with extended family became part of that journey. There was something special about slowing down enough to hear family stories, reconnect with relatives, and spend a few days away from home.
Did I have to mentally prepare myself for those long drives? Absolutely. But I enjoyed the time with my family, and it gave me a change of scenery without spending thousands of dollars. Sometimes getting away doesn’t have to mean getting on a plane.
5. I Stopped Eating Out as Much
This one is pretty self-explanatory.
I stopped spending so much money eating out. And as a former coffee shop girlie, this was an adjustment. I was the type of regular who knew the baristas by name. I knew little details about their lives, what they had going on, and sometimes even their schedules. I loved my coffee shop routine. But those 6–8 lattes? They add up QUICKLY. So I started making more of my coffee at home.
I’ve experimented with homemade syrups, different coffee beans, and figuring out which blends taste better in my espresso machine versus my moka pot. And because I actually have the time to experiment, it’s become a fun little ritual. I still enjoy a good coffee shop visit every now and then, but I no longer feel the need to spend money on a latte several times a week. Honestly, no complaints.
6. I Stayed Locked Into LinkedIn, Even From My Bed
Remember how I said I didn’t resist rest? That doesn’t mean I abandoned my responsibilities. One thing about me: I was going to stay connected to potential job opportunities. I turned on LinkedIn notifications so I wouldn’t miss messages from recruiters.
Every morning, I’d check my email and LinkedIn from bed like I was reading the newspaper. Some mornings, I hadn’t even brushed my teeth yet, but best believe I knew whether a recruiter had messaged me. If someone reached out about an opportunity, I’d respond and send my availability for a screening. I also created a dedicated “Job Applications” folder in my email to organize recruiter messages, interview invitations, and application updates.
Because nothing is worse than trying to find an important email buried between retail promotions and random newsletters. I may not have been sitting at a desk from 9 to 5 every day, but I was still showing up for my job search. Sometimes showing up just looked like answering a recruiter from underneath my comforter.
And that’s perfectly fine.
7. I Allowed Myself to Feel All the Feels… SOBER
One thing I learned about myself during this period is that I don’t particularly enjoy being turnt when my emotions are all over the place. I didn’t completely stop drinking, but I significantly reduced how often I drank. For starters, I wanted to stay sharp.
If a recruiter called or an interview opportunity came up, I wanted to feel my best. And let’s be clear: hangovers at 35 are not the same as hangovers at 25. I can feel the repercussions for DAYS. No, thank you.
But beyond that, I made a conscious decision to actually feel my emotions instead of masking them. If I was sad, I allowed myself to be sad. If I was frustrated after another rejection email, I let myself feel frustrated. If I needed to cry, I cried. And if I wanted to sit on my couch and do absolutely nothing for a few hours, I did that too.
I’ve learned that when I constantly suppress my emotions, they don’t disappear. They just sit there until they eventually demand my attention. I’d rather acknowledge what I’m feeling, process it, and move forward. Now, I’ll admit that this has made me a little more reclusive at times. Not everyone has the emotional capacity to sit with someone who’s going through a difficult season. And sometimes I don’t have the energy to explain what I’m feeling.
So I retreat.
I spend time alone, work through my emotions, and eventually pop back outside when I’m ready. I promise I’m not ignoring you. I’m just over here feeling all the feels.
SOBER.
8. And Through It All, I Didn’t Lose Hope
This might be the most important part.
Because as much as I’ve tried to make peace with this season, there have absolutely been moments when it felt overwhelming. You start wondering what happens if your unemployment lasts longer than you planned. What happens when your savings reach a certain number? What happens if you make it to another final-round interview and still don’t get the offer?
It’s easy to spiral when you spend too much time thinking about everything that could go wrong. So I’ve made a conscious effort to ground myself in what I know to be true. I’m okay right now. Not six months from now. Not in some imaginary worst-case scenario I’ve created in my head. Right now.
I have a roof over my head. I’m taking care of my responsibilities. I’m applying for jobs, nurturing my creativity, and finding ways to enjoy my life even when things aren’t going according to plan. I journal. I speak positivity over my life. I remind myself of everything I’ve already survived. And I give myself permission to have bad days without deciding that my entire life is bad. Some days I’m optimistic. Other days I’m exhausted.
Both can be true.
Your Layoff Doesn’t Have to Become a Reinvention Story
I think we’ve become so accustomed to watching people turn difficult experiences into inspirational success stories that we sometimes forget it’s okay to simply get through something. Every setback doesn’t need to become a business. Every season of unemployment doesn’t need to produce a new body, a new relationship, or a completely transformed personality.
Sometimes the accomplishment is simply keeping your life together while everything feels uncertain. Sometimes it’s learning to make a really good latte at home. Sometimes it’s cutting your own grass, visiting your family, taking a nap, or finally having the energy to create something just because you enjoy it.
And sometimes it’s getting out of bed at 1 p.m. because your best friend called and yelled, “GIRL, GET UP!” I haven’t lost 50 pounds. I haven’t built a six-figure business. And I haven’t figured out exactly how this chapter of my life will end. But I’ve rested. I’ve created. I’ve laughed. I’ve cried. I’ve made memories. I’ve taken care of my home, spent time with people I love, and continued showing up for myself. My life didn’t stop just because my paycheck did. And while I would absolutely love to have a steady corporate income again, I refuse to treat this entire season as wasted time simply because it hasn’t produced some dramatic transformation.
My layoff wasn’t a glow-up montage. But it wasn’t a tragedy either.
It was life.
And I’m still living it.
